Everything Is Racist: Dairy Edition

There’s always been something about milk that bothered me, I just never could put my finger on it. Of course the color is white, which is the color of everyone wrong in the world, but I knew there had to be more.  Now, thanks to a student at CSU Long Beach, my suspicions have been fully validated. In Milk New Symbol of Hate?Samantha Diaz clearly explains how problematic ‘big dairy’ really is:

“…how can our health guidelines, a system meant to be built upon scientific fact alone, have racist messages? Where there is a deep-rooted tradition to suppress an entire race’s existence, there’s a way.

The federal endorsement of milk in American diets contributes to the problem by uncritically pushing people to drink milk, despite the potential detriment it has on non-white people’s health.

Our current federal dietary guidelines urge people to drink three cups of milk a day… The main health benefit of milk is to guard against osteoporosis, a disease that weakens your bones — hence the “stronger bones” rhetoric. While this is a very practical health benefit, osteoporosis affects Africans at a significantly lower rate than it does most Americans”

BOOM! Hammer dropped.  Those of African descent don’t need to guard against osteoporosis, therefore having dietary guidelines that are beneficial to Caucasians is a serious hate crime. If you don’t believe me, here’s a black guy talking about the inherent racial undertones of milk.  If that’s not proof enough for you, you’re clearly a Nazi.

Thank God I don’t drink milk. I couldn’t live with this type of guilt, knowing what I do now. It’s hard enough having some European ancestors, let alone living in America with all the privilege I enjoy. I already have to flagellate myself regularly for drinking juice.

While Dave Chappelle making light of white privilege is pretty triggering, an important cultural lesson can be learned. Whites cannot be allowed to continue to suppress other races with tasty beverages. The world is onto your secret racism. Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m off to the tanning bed to eliminate any trace whiteness I might have left.

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